seul Pinec risque d'en profiter mais bon...

bah voui, c'est votre faute aussi, apprenez à lire de l'anglais, bordel!!!
bon, enfin j'ai trouvé sur un site consacré à Snape deux ou 3 trucs qui m'ont fait me bidonner seule devant mon PC lol... alors je vous les met quand même, je traduirais peut-être même à l'occas'...^^



fic 1:
What you are about to read is based on actual events.


10:00 pm: Snape was in his office, grading a last bunch of papers before bedtime, when his tummy started to grumble.

As he continued marking wrong answers, his usual thoughts of how dumb his students were began to transition into thoughts of food. Having left dinner early to work, he had missed dessert, and an ineludible craving for chocolate was developing. He looked at the clock and wondered if the kitchens were still running.

No, it didn’t matter if they were. He had more important things to concern himself with than chocolate. He finished his work and went off to his chambers.


11:45 pm: Snape lay in bed, wearing whatever you want him to. He couldn’t sleep. Visions of Chocolate Frogs danced through his head.

No, not Chocolate Frogs. He wanted something smooth, something creamy. And then the obvious answer came to him.

Pudding.

Oh yes, pudding. Pudding would make him truly happy. Creamy, milky, and delicious, like Draco Malfoy’s thighs. And if he didn’t get some now, he was sure his throat would close up.

No, the sooner he went to sleep, the sooner it would be morning. He put the thoughts out of his mind, and drifted off to sleep.


01:15 am: After sleeping sporadically over the past hour and a half, Snape was getting a bit irked.

He thought he might be able to resolve his problem with a simple spell. He thought he remembered something from his days as a student, when children would try to transfigure their dinner into a plateful of sweets. He got out of bed, and went to the bowl of walnuts he kept on his desk. He thought for a moment, got out his wand, and gave it a wave.

Snapey wants some yummy goodies;
Turn these walnuts into puddies.

Nothing happened. He tried it again. And again.

He thought he saw something move in his bowl. Was the spell working? Suddenly, there was a burst of smoke and a funny gong noise, which seemed to be added for effect. Snape’s hair was blown back and his face was smudged with soot. His walnuts were still walnuts.

“SCHQCHQCHQZ!!” he yelled.

He sat there for a bit, sighed, and went back to bed.


02:30 am: Having just woken up from a short dream involving him smearing chocolate over his own body parts, Snape knew he needed to appease his cravings, quickly. He got out of bed, and searched frantically in the dark for his robe and slippers. He ran to the kitchen, and burst through the door.

“PUUUUDDDDIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!” he cried.

The house elves scrambled and hid under various tables and chairs. Snape was now panting.

“I SAID GET ME PUDDING!!”

One of the braver house elves, Pookie, came forward.

“M-Master wants... pudding?”

“YES POOKIE PUDDING NOW RAWWRR,” Snape replied.

Pookie scurried off, and returned with a big bowl of chocolate pudding.

“Is this alright, sir --”

Snape snatched the bowl from the house elf, tipped it back, and gulped down the luscious sweetness that had been his want all evening.

“MORE!” he cried, and took a seat.

But alas, when Pookie returned a few moments later, Snape was sleeping soundly with his face on the table. Aw.

fic 2:

I had heard from my many brothers and sisters of the wonders that await at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Upon reaching adolescence, it is the goal of every one of our kind to possess the strength and intelligence one needs to succeed at Hogwarts.

I am a turtle. This is my story.

I come from a large family. Of course, I have never met many of my older siblings, as those who have left for Hogwarts do not return. My peers had all said that once a turtle made it to the school, they would have everything they ever wanted, and The Man in the Billowing Robes would take care of them. There were a few elders in our lot that warned us of the dangers such a trip would bring, but my friends and I had decided this was something we were destined to do.

Our group left one day in the spring, after all cold had passed. We thought we would be safe. This part of the journey is still painful for me to talk about, so I will start at the point when I finally arrived at Hogwarts.

I waited for what seemed like ages outside of the school. Finally, a group of youths walked in and the doors were left open long enough for me to enter. I crawled along the hallways near the walls so as not to be seen. I had never been told in which direction the man that would care for us lived, so I only had my heart to follow. Hogwarts was replete with numerous staircases, along with misleading twists and turns, which make progress difficult if you are a turtle.

When it seemed like I could not travel any further, I spotted the most beautiful human I had ever seen in my life. He had his hair to his shoulders, like the female of the species. He did indeed have billowing robes, as well as slacks with more buttons than I could count. He stopped in front of a door, muttered something under his breath, and entered. I moved faster than I ever had before, and barely made it through after him. I had made it.

I was finally standing in the room that I had strived to be in all my life. The man who would soon share all his joy with me was just a few feet away, taking off his cloak. I had never been so happy.

“Mister!” I called out. I didn’t know what I should call him. He paused, and looked around.

“Who’s there?” he spat. He reached for his wand.

“Me! It’s me, sir! I have come to see your greatness!”

At first, he couldn’t seem to tell where my voice was coming from. Upon spotting me, he shrieked and climbed on top of a chair, clutching his arms across his chest. This surely wasn’t what I had expected.

“Sir! What are you doing, sir? I have come for you to take care of me!”

“Take… care of you?” he said. “What gave you the idea that I would want to do such a thing?”

“My family, they said that you do great things for our kind! They said you possess a love for turtles like no other! Where is my family? Are they here?”

He looked confused.

“No. There are no turtles here. I’m afraid you have the wrong dungeon. Run along, now.”

Could it be? I had heard the voyage was difficult, but could it really be that I am the only turtle that made it?

“No, sir, I can’t go. It was my calling to come here. I cannot just leave. You understand me; most humans do not. You are the Turtle Master.”

“I understand you because I am a Chelysmouth. That does not make me the Turtle Master, as you say. Now, please leave.”

“I love you.”

At this, he came down off the chair. He scooped me up in his hands, and looked into my eyes.

“You… what?”

“I love you.”

“Nobody has ever said that to me before.”

“I can’t imagine why. You’re right sexy.”

And so we lived, happily ever after. The turtle, and his master.


The End.

... et haiku lol :
So today I was like, “What should I do for Snape-a-Day?” and then I was all, “I feel like writing some slash.” But then I was like, “I also feel like writing some haiku.”

And then I had an idea.



Severus/Lucius

Oh, my! I never
knew that canes had so many
practical uses.


Severus/Remus

Not now, Severus.
You know I’d love to, but it’s
that time of the month.


Severus/Argus

Can we shut the door?
You know how much I hate it
When your cat watches.


Severus/Percy

Now that you’re Head Boy,
it’s high time you learned what it
means to be punished.


Severus/Sirius

Here, Blackie. I’ve got
a bone for you to bury.
What a good doggie.


Severus/Draco

Must say, Draco, your
dad’s not as blessed. Why do you
think he bought that cane?


Severus/Harry

Another zero,
Potter. Detention again.
(Don’t forget the lube.)


Severus/Neville

Ten points from your House!
Swelling Solvent all over!
Oooh, wait. Never mind.

Citation :

Snape snatched the bowl from the house elf, tipped it back, and gulped down the luscious sweetness that had been his want all evening.

“MORE!” he cried, and took a seat.

Mon morceau préféré !!!
Merci, merci ! D'ou sors-tu donc ça ? C'est merveilleux ! L'espirt de la ménagerie ! ^^'

Lemon + haiku, je suis gâté :)
*compte les syllabes*

héhéhé... ^^ * toute heureuse*
je cherchais des fics Sirius/severus en fait, et comme Titef m'a dit qu'elle n'en connaissais pas beaucoup non plus, j'ai lancé une recherche google ;p
le premier résultat a été un site anglais dont l'administratrice listait toutes ses fics préférées avec Snape dans le pairing (y compris des Snape/Dumbledore, Snape/Neville et aussi de très nombreux Snape/ Rusard et Snape/Hagrid... T_T arrrgh!!!! je savais même pas que ça existait ce genre d'abominations!!!) enfin bref, j'ai cliqué dur les liens de tous les Sirius /Snape qu'elle indiquait, et l'un deux provenait d'un site appelé "snape a day" lol où on a une histoire ou un défis ou un truc parlant de Snape par "jour" (en fait, un jour correspond visiblement à une semaine), donc, j'y ai jeté un ptit coup d'oeil... et j'y ai touvé ces morceaux d'anthologie, voilà lol
l'adresse, c'est je crois:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/snape_a_day/1266.html

enfin bref, je plein Bunny et les autres de pas pouvoir en profiter lol
peut-être que je tenterais la trad un jour où je me sentirais d'humeur magnanime? parce que je voudrais en faire profiter Titef >_< et qu'elle cause pas un mot d'anglais... bon, j'arrête de faire des promesses que je pourrais pas tenir, là lol

http://www.reverso.com ? :p

Oui mais c'est de la mauvaise trad... Non ?
Au pire, j'en imprimerais et j'en traduirais en cours ^^ (surtout la première ^___________^)

Vais essayer de le lire
après tt y a pas de raison que j'en profite pas AUSSI!! non mais

mais plus tard...

pour ce qui est de la mauvaise trad, bvisez moi un peu ça!!! je lui demandais de ma traduire une fic qui s'appelle :"Shade more than man", et regardez ce que ça donne!!!
vous comprenez quelquechose, vous??
"HACHUREZ PLUS QU'HOMME
Mes os ont été formés par la douleur comme les lieux saints sont construits par la Douleur de doute d'être le Doute de devenir la Sueur sur le sable la Marée dans, la marée du naufrage invisible Inévitable dans le brouillard je rends le potage pour demain perdu comme un chien entre le doute et la douleur.


Le chapitre 1
Sirius Noir a marché à grands pas le long du couloir en bas aux cachots souterrains et a essayé de se préparer mentalement pour la conversation. Il n'allait pas être facile ou agréable, mais il a dû être fait. Quoi qu'il était devenu, il n'était pas un lâche.

Il a été debout à l'extérieur des quarts de Snape et a attendu poliment les charmes de détection pour notifier l'hôte de son arrivée.
Peut-être il n'est pas dans, le chuchotement déloyal fourni avec impatience du dos de son avis(esprit). Sirius a étouffé il rapidement et a essuyé sa transpiration font face à sa main. Soudainement il tremblait de nouveau, son coeur martelant désespérément dans son coffre(poitrine), une ambivalence suffoquante de crainte et la colère coursing par son âme. Il a voulu hurler; il aiderait à libérer tout cela de dans un son stupide de désespoir - mais des hommes n'a pas hurlé et il était toujours un homme. Au lieu de cela, il a penché sa tête sur la pierre froide de la porte de Snape et a pris un long, frissonnant le souffle. Bientôt, il n'importera pas. Bientôt."

mon dieu... est tout ce qu'y me vient à l'esprit quand je vois ça!!!

Merci la traduction automatique !

Il y a un jeu, comme ça, qui consiste à passer un proverbe sous plusieurs langues au traducteur automatique (celui d'Altavista est très bon pour ce genre de chose), puis de le remettre en français pour faire deviner aux autres ce à quoi ça ressemblait au départ ^.^

Par exemple:

"L'ami est le calcul où les bons l'expriment sont bons"

Je connaissais pour les chansons, pas pour les proverbes ^^

je connaissais pas... et j'avoue que je donne ma langue au chat quand au proverbe initial que tu nous proposais, Titi =_=;;

connaissait pas non plus...
et ne trouve pas.. (pas trop réfléchi en fait...)
mais il y a de bô provebe anglais... de temps en temps...
enfin voilà quoi... vous m'avez compris...